Waiting with the other 8 to see if we’re one of the .5% diagnosed with breast cancer.

Theoretically no one here today has it as there would need to be twenty for one to be diagnosed. Gotta love stats, their bullshit accuracy and my lame linear logic. Watching them all file in before me – imagining it’s because my symptoms are the least serious not because I was last to arrive or have a latest appointment. This positive thinking is very new and quite empowering. Not delusional at all.

Mammograms done. Not so confident now. Over to ultrasound. Panic creeping from the reptilian cortex causing arms to tingle and digits to shake. This is not part of the plan. I’m not the kind of person who creates cancer. This is a real test of my sense of humour. Breathe deeply. Centre. Try not to vomit.

Benign cyst. 5cm from the left nipple. Still trying not to cry. The relief as exhausting as the tension. Want to burst into tears but suck it up in front of others who wait to feel the tearful relief. Or the unthinkable alternative.

BreastScreen NSW at RNSH make the unthinkable moments as dignified and professional as possible. Thank you and I hope never to see you again.

November 06 2014